Thank you Bryanna. Your response is very much appreciated. I hope I was careful to say that everyone’s experiences are individual and valid and, naturally, yours and mine are different. I appreciate that. I hope that comes across.

And I am privileged that you chose to share some of your experiences in your reply — it helps me catch a glimpse of a different perspective. That is deep and special. This an important discussion in the world right now and I am honoured that you are engaging with me, a stranger from the other side of the world, living in a different society.

My own experiences are diffuse: not fitting in and getting in trouble for it (not being fluent in the correct forms to address elders/giving gifts with my left instead of right hand); seeming to fit in but always being a bit different (doing Indian dance shows with a fake jet-black braid sticking out of my coffee-brown hair/not understanding the British penchant for separate hot and cold taps/being the only dark-haired, tanned teen in a summer school full of Nordic blonds); fitting in and feeling guilty that by doing so I am denying part of my heritage (loving ancient British history though my parents only came here in the ‘70s/being eligible to vote in the Sámi parliament up in the arctic). It’s my normal. I don’t feel like any of it was caused by ill-intention. People not understanding, yes, but then I didn’t understand either so fair’s fair. Either we rubbed along or we didn’t.

I hope I think before I speak or write. I try. Being multi-racial doesn’t give me the right to assume I can apply my own epithets to others. Or to assume I can ask. Best not to. Therefore trying to be careful to mirror the language in your article as an exemplar of safe. Official forms in the UK ask “ethnicity?” and there are dozens of choices, many of which include the term “mixed”. They collect stats to tease out biases in they system and correct. They separate that info from the rest so as not to influence decisions. Is the right way? Dunno. Never thought about it until now.

I don’t feel like a worthy example of multi-racialness where twenty years ago I was confident with it. I’m certainly multi-racial down to my last cell but I don’t seem to be “doing” it right anymore.

Goodness me, I have written a lot again. If you got this far through my ramblings then I am ever so grateful. Thank you again Bryanna Alladin for such a stimulating and thought-provoking discussion.